


An Unexpected Caller

by Bowowza



Series: Holmes Q'bd [2]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies), Sherlock (TV), Skyfall (2012) - Fandom
Genre: Bond also thinks he is suave, Bondlock, But also surprisingly nice, Flirting, I'll stop tagging now, M/M, NOT blushing, Ringtones, Sherlock thinks he is funny, When he kind of is, When he's really not, pre slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-12
Updated: 2012-12-12
Packaged: 2017-11-21 00:03:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/591182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bowowza/pseuds/Bowowza
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Don’t you dare say a word, 007,” he gritted out. His brother had changed his ringtone. Again. And now he was calling when he knew that Q would be at work. Hell, he had probably called for that exact reason!</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Unexpected Caller

**Author's Note:**

> Ookay. Sorry this took so long, it didn't come out as well as I had hoped, but I finally saw Skyfall and so I was struck by a sudden burst of inspiration. So yes. Um.
> 
> Also posted on fanfiction.net, sorry for any typos or mistakes.
> 
> Betaed by wordonawing, who is beautiful and wonderful, even if she is sort of annoying sometimes. I love you, Wordy.
> 
> Have some flirty Bond.

The skin around Q’s eyes tightened as he scowled. He was sitting at his console, fingers flickering across the keyboard, with blueprints on the screen, Earl Grey in his mug and an agent in the corner. The blueprints he could deal with easily and the tea was welcomed, but Bond presented a bit more of a problem.

“Do you require anything, 007? Because you seem to have been lurking for quite a while without saying anything, and I’m sure you have places to be.”

“Hmm? Oh no, please, don’t let me disturb you.”

“I assure you, Agent, you finishing your business and leaving the room would in no way disturb me, quite the opposite in fact.”

This was the problem. Every time he interacted with Bond, he snapped at him because of the amount of feelings that he prompted within Q. Growing up, he had always been taught that emotions were not a good thing to display, and although he often questioned the wisdom of his brothers – as well as their child-raising skills – he agreed that this particular pearl made sense. Especially in a workplace such as MI6, where the staff cultivated the special breed of madness required to secretly defend a country, and often used their training to spread gossip or plant love notes in each other's desks. Q was above such things, of course.

And now, this agent had just swanned in, disrupting all of Q’s carefully built emotional shields and causing the blood to move to the surface in his face. He refused to call it blushing. Thirteen year old girls blushed. Quartermasters did not.

“I was just wondering if you had any pens lying around.”

“Hilarious, 007. I shouldn’t be surprised about your obsession with them, seeing the amount of explosions you regularly cause.”

Bond smirked. “I can make many things explode, Q. Would you like me to show you?”

There was a pause, and then Q’s eyes slowly moved to stare incredulously at the agent.

“I wouldn’t have marked you as the type for such crassness, 007. I would have expected something a bit more high class than that.”

A gleam appeared in the 00’s eye. “I can do high class too, if you prefer.”

“Please, spare me that honour.” Q’s gaze was now fixed to the screen in front of him, decidedly not looking anywhere near Bond. He wasn’t certain that he would be able to without doing or saying something embarrassing.

"Well, anytime you change your mind - ” Suddenly, a buzz sounded from the direction of Q’s pocket, interrupting the agent. Q froze. Then the ringtone started, and his hands started to frantically dive into his pockets.

“Don’t you dare say a word,” he gritted out. His brother had changed his ringtone. Again. And now he was calling when he knew that Q would be at work. Hell, he had probably called for that exact reason! He had no doubt that it was Sherlock calling. Only his brothers had this number, and Mycroft preferred to go through M - the only reason being he didn’t want to threaten national security, which interrupting Q could sometimes result in.

Bond was smirking. “Mission Impossible, Q? Really? And you know you’re not supposed to have phones on in here. What would Mallory say?”

“It’s a work phone.” Q snapped. He glared at Bond, who was just opening his mouth, and decisively put the phone to his ear.

“What.”

“I need you to do something for me.” Sherlock, as expected, did not so much ask as demand.

“What?” The sooner he could get this over with, the better. It was embarrassing enough just having 007 in the room, but when his brother was on the phone…

“You sound angry, Q, who is it?” Bond seemed to be enjoying himself, the sod. “Somebody unwelcome?”

“You could say that.”

“What?” Ah yes, his brother. “No Q, listen, this is important. I was on the British Army website - ”

“Sorry, why exactly were you on that website?”

“Research.”

“Ah, of course. John.”

“Is that who’s on the phone then?” Bloody hell, could the agent never shut up? Couldn’t Bond see he was trying to have a conversation here?! Q held the mobile away from his ear and glared, attempting to ignore the sullen protestations coming from Sherlock.

“No! It’s, um, it’s technical support.” He placed the phone back so he could hear his brother. “Shut up, I don’t care, just tell me what you want.”

“Fine! I found a grammatical error.”

“You _are_  technical support!”

“What?! Bond, shut the hell up! I am _trying_ to have a conversation, and for the last time, we are not technical support!” The double-oh just raised an eyebrow and mockingly held a finger to his lips.

 “It’s an Oxford comma, and I want you to hack the site and change it. I have no _idea_  how they got such a simple thing wrong, I am surrounded by idiots, this entire country - ”

“You called me up, at work, to tell me about a bloody Oxford comma?! Strangely enough, I don’t actually give a rat’s arse!” His entire department seemed to be staring at him now - not a good sign.

The voice on the other end was more sullen now. “Mycroft would care.”

“Talk to him then!” He was the one in charge of most of bloody England!

“I refuse to call Mycroft for assistance. Actually, I refuse to call him. Ever. In any circumstance.”

“Oh for the love of - !” Q caught sight of an intern throwing him a terrified glance, and took a deep breath, forcefully calming himself down.  “Alright, this is what you’re going to do. You are going to hang up, you are going to email the administration of the site to tell them your grievances - _without_  making them want to kill you, which means _politely_  - and until you get over this ridiculous feud, you will not ever bother me again, especially when you know I’m at work.” 

He hung up, and gazed at the screen, contemplating ways to destroy it. Or his brother. Preferably his brother.

“Well.” Bond cleared his throat. “That was interesting.”

“Get out. Now.” His knuckles were white where he had been clenching his fist. He was going to punch someone soon, and he’d prefer it not to be a double-oh. They had the rather annoying habit of punching back. And all of Q-branch ( _not_  technical support, despite what Bond along with most of the other field agents seemed to think) was watching them now, and he’d rather not give them anymore of a show than he already had.

“If you’re sure?”

“Very much so.” His breathing was slowing now, and he was starting to calm himself down.

“If this person in… "technical support" is bothering you, I could always…?” Q blinked. Was Bond offering to … help him? He stared at the agent, who was gazing back at him with an unreadable expression. Blood bloomed in his cheeks and he dropped his eyes to the floor, his fingers suddenly fumbling for something to do.

“That will not be necessary, 007, thank you for your concern.” He managed to choke out the words.

“Of course, Q.” Bond inclined his head, eyes still fixed on him. “You know to find me if you change your mind.”

**Author's Note:**

> So yes. We're still on the pre slash stage, because the boys are being stubborn, but hopefully that will change soon? We'll see.


End file.
